How To Build Self-Esteem And Confidence

Sep 30, 2019

Is it possible to build your self-esteem and confidence? In this post I am going to give you a great hack on how you can quickly elevate your confidence. I am also going to share three steps to build your self-esteem. 

A study done by Florida State University and Brown University found that, “High self-esteem makes people more willing to speak up in groups and to criticize the group's approach. Leadership does not stem directly from self-esteem, but self-esteem may have indirect effects.”  What this means is if you have something to say, something to sell or something big to do, you need to increase your influence. One of the key factors to increasing your influence is having greater confidence in yourself, which is also called self-esteem. 

Let me address confidence first and share a confidence hack, then we will look at the deeper issue of self-esteem. 

A great quote by General George Patton is, “You fight like you train.” If you want to be more confident when it matters you must do your homework and be good at what you do. I have another blog and a video on competence that you can watch on this subject.

How do you build confidence? The answer is by practicing what you are trying to be confident in. That’s probably not what you wanted to hear, but it really is the best way. If you have worked on something for many hours and should by all accounts be confident but you still aren’t, you may have some self-esteem challenges to overcome. We will talk about that in just a moment. 

But because I know you want a little hack for confidence, I will give you a visualization exercise I picked up that really works. If you are challenged with confidence I want you to close your eyes and think of a time that you felt really confident. Have you got it?  Now I want you to think about what you see, what you hear, what you smell, what is going on -- go ahead and describe it. Now, what words come to mind when you envision this? Say them out loud. Think about how you feel right now...probably the same way you did in that memory, right?  We can actually change our state of mind if we visualize and focus on a prior experience. 

It also works if you need to calm down. Imagine a relaxing and calming experience, maybe at the beach or whatever it is you do to relax.  You can visualize and calm yourself down in the same way I described above.  It's a cool exercise, and a great hack.  Use it, practice it and see your confidence grow. Then you will be able to fight like you train.

Now let’s explore the deeper issue self-esteem and three steps to increase in this area.

A professor in college once told me this:  You are not as good as people say and you are not as bad as people say, you are somewhere in the middle.  That’s a humbling statement and an encouraging statement at the same time. Self-esteem is how you view yourself and the confidence you have in yourself.  That is why a person can be really good at something and even though others tell them how good they are, they may still lack confidence.  On the other hand, some people are not very good at something but they approach it with supreme confidence -- why is that?  It is because they have high self-esteem. My point is this:  Your self-esteem is not connected to your actual achievements, it is tied to your perception of yourself and your internal self-talk. I have a positive affirmation video and resource called Mind/Shift that you can access completely free.

I have a video on positive affirmations HERE.

Zig Ziglar said, “It’s impossible to consistently behave in a manner inconsistent with how we see ourselves. We can do very few things in a positive way if we feel negative about ourselves.”

Let me share just 3 of the self-esteem builders listed in The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.

  1. Guard your self-talk – The Mind/Shift workbook and affirmation video mentioned above will help with this.
  2. Stop comparing yourself to others – you will either build others up and put yourself down, or you will put others down to build yourself up. When you compare yourself to others you miss out on the good stuff going on in your own life. I have a great story about this in the video version of this content HERE.
  3. Add value to others – You need to see yourself as someone who has something to contribute.No doubt you have skills that can be used to help others. I love a quote from Mother Teresa, “You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together we can do great things.”  Practice those skills and make yourself available to do something others may not enjoy or know how to do.  

Try the confidence exercise that I outlined earlier and share your results below.  You can do this to attain whatever state you want to be in, whether peaceful, confident or anything else.  

For your free download, click on the link below that says “Influence Assessment.” 

If you have questions about increasing your influence, please comment below and I will be happy to answer.

Increase your influence, realize your dream.

Influence Assessment 

DISCLAIMER: This blog contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a small commission. This helps support the blog and allows us to continue to create free content like this. Thank you for the support!



50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.